The List, a romantic comedy!

 

TheList-ARE
Samantha hasn’t had much luck when it comes to love. Of course, she’s never had much luck, period. Known as the Queen of Catastrophe, introverted Sam thinks her luck might be changing when she wins an all-expenses paid trip to the exotic Amantes Island. With a crazy to-do list written by her best friend Jack, Sam sets off on her first real adventure in years. After a stuttering start involving food-poisoning and a run-in with a very large spider, she meets Jason, the guy of her dreams made real. As the list gets checked off, item by item, Sam wonders if Jason can help her check off item twenty-two, which involves surf, sand and someplace secluded.

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Read a teaser:

Two Tickets to…

‘Congratulations! You’ve won an all-expenses paid vacation for six days and seven nights at the exclusive Crystal Sands Resort on Amantes Island! How do you feel?’

Terrified. That’s how she’d felt. Absolutely terrified.

All Sam had wanted to do was buy a raffle ticket to help the Long Beach Humane Society, and maybe win that gift basket of assorted bath stuff. But no, her ticket number had been called last. Instead of the little basket that’d smelt so dang good, she’d won two tickets to someplace she’d never heard of.

After being ushered up on stage by her date Jack, the traitor, she’d been forced to answer that question while trying not to vomit up all the free shrimp she’d snacked on from the buffet. She’d lied and smiled and said ‘how wonderful!’ and ‘thank you’ before doing her best to make a quick exit. All the while, Jack had been laughing his queer butt off at her expense.

Traitor!

He knew as well as she did that there were two major problems with the prize. One – Sam didn’t travel. Period. She rarely left her apartment, and then she never left Long Beach. Well, except that one time Jack dragged her to San Francisco, but they’d both agreed to never ever talk about that again.

What happens in San Fran, stays in San Fran. Forever

The other problem was that there were two tickets and Sam was one person. One, lonely, pathetic… Okay, so she wasn’t pathetic. She enjoyed her seclusion. Being social meant putting yourself out there, and putting yourself out there had never been easy for her. Even Jack’s numerous attempts to crack open her shell had been unsuccessful, not that she ever made it easy. Why he stuck around, she’d never figured out.

Twinsies from two moms, he’d always called them, ever since they’d ended up as desk mates in the fourth grade. He’d been obviously gay, even that young, and she’d been… Well, she was a walking poster child for awkward.

Despite being twinsies, Jack wasn’t able to take the time away from his business to go on the trip. He was, however, able to magically take the time off to pack her bags for her, escort her to the airport and stand at the gate until she was on the plane. Sam had never been so afraid to open a suitcase.

She could have hunted down the winner of that bath basket and tried to trade. She could’ve sold the tickets on Ebay. She could’ve argued with her boss when she asked for the time off and he nearly had a heart attack, because it was the first vacation she’d taken in five years. In the end, he’d made sure she’d taken the time off, plus a few extra days and all her accrued vacation pay to ‘live it up and get down’, as he’d put it.

The truth was, Sam had decided to go on the trip the moment the tickets touched her fingers. After having gone nowhere for the first twenty-nine years of her life, she thought it might be time to go somewhere. Anywhere. About to hit thirty, she figured she could at least live a little. So, why not live a little in a paid-for paradise?

The unused round-trip ticket nestled in her purse had become a symbol of her new goals: Stop caring so much about the possibility of getting hurt. Stop worrying so much about her awkwardness. Start having some fun.

And, buy the ugliest, tackiest, most god-awful touristy t-shirt she could find then get Jack drunk, get him in the shirt and then post that shit on Facebook.

That plan for revenge had her laughing, right up until the turbulence hit. It was all she could do to race down the aisle, squeeze all her big, beautiful self by the drink cart and make it to the blue-water toilet in time. Her first adventure on a plane to someplace exotic had begun, and it had her on her knees in a teeny-tiny bathroom paying homage to a stainless steel bowl.

Wonderful. She should’ve begged for the basket full of bath crap.

 

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